This week’s special guest was Michael Brookes author of ‘The Cult of Me’ and its brand-new, just-published sequel, ‘Conversations in the Abyss’. You can find his Amazon author page here or visit his blog here.
Well everyone, the votes are finally in and I am delighted to report that two of Michael’s choices have been voted into Box 010. Yes, here they are:
People who drive without lights in fog.
Film remakes.
Michael, thank you for joining us, we will put your choices into Box 010, with great glee, I might add, and seal the lid closed with an industrial sized nail gun, oh, and a great deal of super glue.
Thank you for joining us. Next week Simon Royale will be joining us with some more items to put into Box 010.
Hello and welcome to Box 010; a bit of light whimsy which is, in no way, inspired by the popular BBC programme Room 101. Here’s now it works. Every two weeks, my special guest will pop in and then present us with five things they would like to see consigned to the dustbin of existence. This week’s special guest is Michael Brookes author of ‘The Cult of Me’ and its brand-new, just-published sequel, ‘Conversations in the Abyss’. You can find his Amazon author page here or visit his blog here.
Hello Michael, first of all, can you tell us a bit about yourself?
Yes I can. I’m an author and Executive Producer with a leading UK games developer. Working in games and writing are two of my life passions and I consider myself fortunate to be able to indulge them both. I live in the east of England, enjoying starry skies in the flattest part of the country. When not working or writing I can sometimes be found sleeping. Which is good as that is where many good ideas come from.
Ah yes, sleep. I remember that. Well, I hope you’re ready, shall we start? What is the first item you’d like to put into Box 010? Onions.
Sure, I know, I know – what craziness is this?
Well, yes, it’s certainly lateral, would you like to tell us what offence the humble onion has caused that makes you want it expunged from existence?
I just can’t stand onions. It’s not the taste, the flavour is fine. In fact I use onion powder when I’m cooking. It’s the texture that I despise. I soon as I feel it in my mouth it makes me think of dead man’s toenails. It makes me cringe just thinking about it.
As for raw onions, that’s even worse. The sweaty crunch as you bite into it. And to top it all they make you cry. Reduction into powder is too good for them.
Dead man’s toenails. Mmm… nice. Phnark. So there it is everyone, if Michael comes round your house be careful what you feed him. OK Michael, what is the second thing you’d like to put into Box 010?
People who drive in the fog without lights on.
I’m driving along the road; visibility is practically zero with the freezing fog hugging the road. Suddenly a shape looms only metres ahead. It is the special kind of idiot who happily drives along in the fog with no lights. And 9 times out of 10 they’ll be driving a white or silver car. It was that fact that made me realise they do it deliberately. They pick their cars to blend in with the fog and then make sure they turn their lights off so they can ambush you in the dark.
And of course if you hit them in the ass it’s your fault.
Excellent point, I certainly hope that one gets voted in. Right, so what is the third thing you want to put into Box 010?
Waking up.
I love sleeping. It’s warm, it’s comforting and I have interesting dreams. Then the shrill shriek of the alarm slices through that joy. The transition between sleep and wakefulness is harsh. It is never welcome. I’m fine once I’m up and about. But opening my eyes and climbing out of bed is the hardest thing I have to do every day.
I don’t deny it’s not irrational, but I hate it. I hate it even more that I have to keep doing it over and over again.
There we are ladies and gentlemen, second important point, if Michael stays over round your house, don’t wake him up! So Michael, what’s the fourth thing you want to put into Box 010
Or rather, I hate being made to dance. I’m happy enough to watch people dance, especially if they know what they’re doing. But it’s always ruined by someone who thinks I have to be part of the fun. Invariably they won’t take no for an answer.
I don’t dance. I can’t dance. I don’t want to dance. But that apparently it’s me in the wrong for not wanting to look like an idiot having a fit. If you want to dance that’s all good, just leave me out of it.
I have a very worrying mental picture now Michael! Come on then, what’s the last thing you’d like to put into Box 010
Film remakes.
Why? There’s a perfectly good original, why make another? OK, occasionally something new is added, but usually it’s just a straight remake, so what is the point? It’s not as if there is a shortage of stories for new films. It’s just laziness, or even worse hubris. I can make a better version of the film that is already a classic. Nonsense. Do something new, something different. Make your name with a film that is your own. Don’t make me watch an inferior version of a film I watched years ago.
Oh yes! Vote for this everyone, please.
Michael, thank you so much for kicking off Box 010, it’s been great having you.
Thank you for inviting me.
A pleasure, you’ve given three answers that I am really hoping my lovely readers will vote into Box 010.
So folks if you’d like to vote there’s a poll box at the bottom of the page. To find more about Michael’s books, click here and there’s a bit more about his latest book, ‘Conversations in the Abyss’ below that.
Join us next week for the results, and in two weeks’ time, when we will be finding out what really ticks off Simon Royale when he puts his five most loathed items into Box 010.
And now the voting… you, yes, you ladies and gentlemen can decide which of Michael’s items go into Box 010. You have until next Wednesday 3rd April, to cast your vote using the poll below. Yep, it’s that easy.
Michael’s new book, ‘Conversations in the Abyss’ is the sequel to the 5 star rated supernatural thriller ‘The Cult of Me’
Stealing Lazarus’s miracle gifted him immortality. Combined with his natural ability of invading and controlling people’s minds this made him one of the most dangerous people on Earth.
But the miracle came with a price. His punishment was to be imprisoned within the walls of an ancient monastery and tormented by an invisible fire that burned his body perpetually. To escape the pain he retreated deep into his own mind.
There he discovers the truth of the universe and that only he can stop the coming Apocalypse.
I’ve gone and depressed myself again by looking at one of those ‘uplifting’ posts on Kindleboards about people who’ve had an e-book out for half as long as I have and are making a gazillion times more money. Sod it, just making any money. Maybe you just have to be American to earn a living selling e-books. I dunno. Or maybe you just have to have time. Lots of time. And maybe it’s something that you just can’t do in tiny slices of time, slowly, over years, like I’d hoped.
You know I am basically a happy bunny, I am surrounded by sweet people, I’m happy, I’m cherished, I cherish others… I’m blessed with a very happy family. I also live in a lovely house and drive a car that, as an incurable petrol head, I still can’t quite believe I own. There’s really nothing wrong with my life except that not everyone in that cherished, loved support group around me is as they should be. I’m not one to spill my guts over the internet but let’s just say this. There’s something they don’t tell you about heart disease. A lot of it gives you brain damage. Because a lot of heart disease causes a lack of blood to the head. Over time, this gives similar symptoms similar to those of exposure only they come on very, very slowly. Every day you get a little more fuzzy. Every day another little piece of you, the essence of you, is carried away. Slowly but surely, inevitably, you lose your mind. Add a succession of really hard winters, because heaven forfend that fucking sod might pull any punches and you’re in the poop. Big time.
So, one of my cherished people is in the doo doo and those years and years of bitty, incremental damage are beginning to show. And I can’t do a fucking thing. And I’m miles away from them when I should be there. When the simplest thing becomes a marathon slog for them, I’m not there to help or reassure when all my life, I believed I would be. I’m not there to fix the computer when it freaks, or go through the paperwork or deal with the admin that escapes; things like tax returns or driving license applications. I’m trapped here at the end of the phone and all I can do is listen. And it feels shit. Because to watch the people I love suffer from a long way away and not help; people who have given me everything and made me who I am, people I look up to. That makes me feel like a special kind of bastard.
So the wheels have fallen off my writing a bit. I can’t stop, I’m addicted, but it doesn’t look like I’ll be hitting any deadlines, and I probably won’t be very professional about it either. In short, if K’Barthan 3 is ready by next Christmas I’ll be surprised. But in my defence, although I can’t name names and be straight about it here, there is a good reason. Real life has painfully, comprehensively, trodden on my hands.
I feel a bit like this. As Arnold the Prophet says in K’Barthan Three.
“Life is a gift, reach out and take it with both hands.”
And The Pan of Hamgee says.
“That’s all all very well for you to say but the gift I’m being offered looks suspiciously like a dog turd in a paper bag, to me.”
It isn’t all pants and it’s a lot worse for them than me but there’s a very, very sad bit and I have to accept that I can’t fix it. And that rankles. Big time.
I’m not sure why this has come up now but I’ve found myself discussing the hard work aspect of becoming a writer quite a lot over the past week.
Also, with the attitude of some independent authors and the hardening attitude among readers it has caused, I am beginning to wonder whether self publishing is quite such a smart option. It’s definitely right for me at the moment, but long-term smart? I’m not sure.
Run with me on this, eventually the two thoughts will connect.
Reading the results of the Taleist survey of indie authors, I was interested to see that some ludicrously high percentage of independenly published books – about 75 I think – are fantasy. I’m not sure this reflects the number of fantasy writers out there so much as the number of publishers willing to take them on. Certainly there were very few in 2009 when I was looking at the traditional route and of the few prepared to read a fantasy manuscript, even less, would look at a funny one.
However, whichever way you cut it, it means that any fantasy writer who does decide to look for a publisher will have a lot of competition. In regard to my own work, the standard doesn’t worry me, but setting my talent (or lack of it) aside for a moment, there are a lot of aspects, beyond my control, that make someone like me an unattractive prospect to a publisher. So if you’re grappling with the self or pukka publisher question here are four reasons to think about self publishing over and above the usual ones.
If you take a long time to write a book.
Going on my own experience here, the way I see it is this: If I go on sending my work to publishers for long enough the law of probabilities states that it will click with somebody – but with my business hat on, I can’t help wondering about the other criteria. You see if I was a publisher, I’d be looking for more than just talent, I’d be looking for commitment and that’s where I fall down. Big time. I already commit most of my spare time to being a writer and it’s about… er hem… 10 hours a week. I have the odd weekend, too, so I could score a Saturday book signing every now and again but I would probably have to attend with a small boy (four tomorrow).
Looking at the early Pratchett model, I reckon you have to be able to write a decent book every 6 months at the outset to keep up momentum and to keep your readers – not to mention your publisher – interested. It costs a lot of money to publish a book and until you have written a few of them, the Publisher isn’t going to get much back. So, if it takes you longer than 6 months to write one I reckon you have two options. Publish them yourself or stockpile a few manuscripts that are ready to go before you approach a publisher. Think about it from their point of view, if they like your work that’s good but if you’re prolific you will deliver a return for their investment more quickly. That might be the difference between their giving a contract to you or to someone else.
If marketing your book will get in the way of writing the next one.
One of my author friends is doing a book signing somewhere in the UK on all bar 4 weekends this year. That’s seriously impressive. If anyone deserves to be an ‘overnight success’ it’s this guy but that’s the level of commitment it takes. It’s the level of work I would aspire to if my circumstances were different, in fact I’m kind of envious of him. Oh alright, I’m very envious, positively seething, but I digress.
If you do have a publisher, marketing your book is almost more important than when you self publish. How so? Because they have put their faith in you and if you have any scrap of self respect or honour in you, you won’t want to let them down. You will have to be involved in a very hands-on way with selling your book. So there are two things to think about there. First, even if you want to put in that kind of commitment, can you? If you can’t, will you feel bad about letting your publisher – or yourself – down or feel pressured that you’ve found a publisher and shouldn’t waste your opportunity. This is one of the big factors in my decision to self publish. It’s also why I believe I will have to demurr from chasing establishment endorsement for a couple more years.
Do you need to balance the proportion of your time you spend positively?
Getting said ‘no’ to on a semi-professional basis can be soul destroying. You are probably different to me but going on the vast difference between my ability get a job and my ability to actually do one, I should think it will take me well over 100 rejections before I get a reply from anyone – let alone a yes. I might be able to handle that if I send out my applications in batches. However, there’s a catch. Sure, most publishers want the same kind of things but each one wants them presented just differently enough to ensure that a merge file won’t cut the mustard.
Publishers are getting hundreds of letters from people like you and me every day. Jumping through the hoops the way they want you to is very important. Do it wrong and your application will be filed under ‘B’ straight away. So by the time M T McSpacker, here, has checked and re-checked each application, that’s going to be my 10 hours for the week, and probably my 10 hours for the next week, too. What I’m trying to say is that right now, that’s a daunting amount of work to put into a very negative process. Yes, getting politely and repeatedly slapped down – even if the eventual outcome might be positive – is grim. It’s self indulgent and whimpy of me but I just don’t have enough spare time or confidence to use that much of it, that way, at the moment.
Don’t be afraid of getting left behind.
Kind of an about turn after some of the things I’ve been saying but still important. The hardest, hardest thing to do but very important or you’ll burn out and go mental. You have to take this stuff at your own pace. If you aren’t able to achieve something right now, for whatever reason, relax and concentrate on the things you can achieve.
For me, the publisher question will not go away. It’s good to have the endorsement of a gatekeeper and it’s good for your confidence as a writer. I believe in my stuff or I wouldn’t ever have found the balls to publish it myself. However, I see a little gap in my confidence, a tiny doubt, that will never go away without establishment endorsement. And I see the headway I make trying to get it into brick and mortar bookshops. And I think. Ah.
Hopefully, anyone who does the self publishing thing properly, me included, is going to learn things in the process. Things that may well increase their marketability to a publisher. After all, if you can show some empathy with their viewpoint and the challenges they face, it’s got to help. Maybe, if I understand a bit more about what publishing is about it will make up for the lack of time I have for both writing and marketing.
So, I’ve set myself a realistic target. When the next Writer’s and Artist’s Yearbook comes out (2013). Then, if the publishing world is still the way it is now and if my world contains more time, I will spend one day a week on getting a publisher. And I will write to every British Fantasy publisher in that ruddy book until I can bludgeon one of them into saying yes to me.
Until then? Well, I’ll ignore it and hope it’ll go away. I never said I was brave did I?
Things are hectic here at Casa McGuire with a flotilla – or is that a crack – of plumbers, jubilee cakes to make, a birthday party to organise and a very lively three year old to amuse. This does not make for an easy time plotting a book – a fairly cerebral process which takes a great deal of mental application and energy… neither of which I have, just ideas. In abundance. Which is tricky.
When it’s all go and it’s lovely I’m a great believer in giving up and enjoying it. The grey matter should not be forced. So for me right now, it’s a case of tinkering. A sentence here and there, a joke, a bit of conversation. If the brain can’t cope it’s a case of letting it put its feet up and leaving the subconscious get on with it. Sure it’s frustrating but it’ll happen, and probably a lot faster than if I flog my extensively plutzed grey matter.
Meanwhile, I’ll work on something else… unless I’m too blitzed to write at all. In which case, I’ll stop.
So there we are. Difficult things to learn about writing number 63: knowing when not to.
As if to bear me out, when I click post, WordPress gives me a quote from Agatha Christe.
“The best time to plan a book is when you’re doing the dishes.”
Here’s your chance to vote! These are the two blurbs for The Wrong Stuff… Which do you like best? Blurb A, Blurb B or a combination of both. Oh and there’s a free e-book of The Wrong Stuff – in whatever format you like – or a set of snurd post cards for whoever my cat picks from those who comment… phew that was a complicated sentence but I’m sure you get the drift.
<strong>BLURB A</strong>
<em>The Pan of Hamgee is not your average knight in shining armour. Sure he has escaped from police custody and switched realities. Yes he has foiled Lord Vernon’s attempt to kidnap Ruth, the Chosen One; but – a small technicality – he’s completely wrecked her life.
Ruth is unimpressed. Being pursued by Lord Vernon is bad enough. Now, thanks to The Pan, she’s on the run. Unless she can find the Candidate, the person who chose her, and persuade him to pick someone else, her life is gone forever. But the Candidate is in hiding and no-one knows where.
Cast adrift in an alien reality and harried by Lord Vernon The Pan knows he must help Ruth to find the Candidate. Fast. Before Lord Vernon finds her. But it’s complicated. Ruth is the woman of The Pan’s dreams but according to the Prophecies it’s the Candidate who will be the man of her’s. Can he bring himself to unite them?</em>
<strong>BLURB B</strong>
<em>The Pan of Hamgee has escaped from police custody, switched realities and foiled Lord Vernon’s attempt to kidnap Ruth, the Chosen One. Not a bad day’s work, he thinks.
However, Ruth thinks otherwise. Being pursued by Lord Vernon is bad enough. Now, thanks to The Pan, she’s on the run. Unless she can find the Candidate, the person who chose her, and persuade him to pick someone else, her life is destroyed forever. But the Candidate is in hiding and no-one knows where.
Cast adrift in an alien reality and harried by Lord Vernon, The Pan knows he must help Ruth, the woman of his dreams, to find the Candidate, who is prophesied to be the man of hers. And he must do it fast. Before Lord Vernon finds her. But can he bring himself to unite them? </em>
In Britain, books are normally launched on a Thursday. Hmm… you learn something new every day.
With the in-laws staying I’ve had to put my launch back so it’s no longer July, now but furnished with this new knowledge, the revised launch date is September 30th.
Since yesterday evening, the download total for my second free e-short, Bog Man, on feedbooks has gone from 650 to 741… I dunno what’s going on but it’s brilliant! In the last hour 11 people have downloaded it… The other one’s still ticking along with 2 or 3 downloads a day, now, that’s what I consider to be a realistic expectation for both but this is… barking… in a very good and happy way!
The new e-short is in the pipeline and I hope to upload it in June… the actual book, Few Are Chosen is, I hope, going live in July… if I can manage it… so you all have something to read on holiday.
Smashwords have to do withholding tax now so I’m thinking I won’t sell my e-book, I’ll do the give it away free and hope some people will buy a paperback model… unless I can’t get a paperback printed cheaply enough to sell it to you all for £7.99 plus postage, in which case it’ll have to be a case of sod it, let them withhold it and do it anyway.
So… scores on the doors…
Is This Heaven? – 917 downloads since Christmas Day 09
Bog Man – 1,119 downloads since 12 March
My first freebie short story, Is This Heaven? has had 108 downloads on Smashwords and is linked in two other writer’s profiles. It’s had about 350 hits on Freado/bookbuzr and Scribd but I’m not so sure of the accuracy of their stats… but I digress…
My point is, I put the second short story – Bog Man – onto Smashwords at about 6.00pm last night. I hoped to get a few hits, I thought that if I did it would mean that the people who’d downloaded Is This Heaven liked it and had been waiting for the second one. Well, by the end of the evening 75 people had downloaded it, by 6.00pm today, 86 people had downloaded it, even better, two of them were new readers who liked it so much they downloaded Is This Heaven, too… 7 Smashwords authors have linked to Bog Man in the first 24 hours, too.
Terry Pratchett’s right, writing really is the best fun you can have on your own.
Ok so I’ve finally written a book which I don’t wish was written by somebody else, so now to sell it… this blog is here so you can follow me on my journey to literary… um… stardom. Step one will be to find an agent…
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M T McGuire…
...humorous fantasy author. The books are quite funny too. MTM is old enough to know better but still checks inside unfamiliar wardrobes for a gateway to Narnia. None yet. Boring huh?
Few Are Chosen, K'Barthan Trilogy: No 1 has been awared the Awesome Indies Seal of Approval
Award Winning Author (Phnark).
A group of London teenagers judging the Wishing Shelf Book Awards awarded a silver award to Few Are Chosen, K'Barthan Trilogy: Part 1. Escape From B-Movie Hell was also voted a winner - of a bronze medal this time - in 2015.
M T McGuire Authorholic 