Tag Archives: writers

Hello and welcome to Box 010; a bit of light whimsy which is, in no way, inspired by the popular BBC programme Room 101. Here’s now it works. Every two weeks, my special guest will pop in and then present us with five things they would like to see consigned to the dustbin of existence. This week’s special guest is Jaq D Hawkins. She does… well… Lots of stuff so I’ll let her tell you about it, over to you Jaq.

Oh and, hello.

Hello.

A bit about me? Well, my most recent release is the final part of the Goblin Trilogy I’ve been working on which came out in May, but as well as Fantasy, I write Steampunk and non-fiction mind, body and spirit books and I also produce films.

Oh, so you’re not that busy then? Mwah ha ha hargh. Wow. So where do the lovely readers need to go to get information about all the things you get up to?

The best place for information about my books is my website, here and to buy them, my Amazon author page is here The website for my film is here, and for general information about what I’m up to, here.

Lorks well, thanks for taking the time out of your schedule to join me here, today. So let’s start with your first item.

3D: Hollywood has gone 3D crazy, and as if that weren’t bad enough, they’re moving more and more towards 3D animation instead of live actors. Even The Hobbit was ruined by extensive sequences of animated actors that look like gaming platforms.

But my main gripe is 3D. Every major film has to be in 3D these days, which leads to the gratuitous something-flying-in-your-face shots that take you out of the story. A lot of people can’t see 3D properly and anyone who wears glasses has a fiddle with trying to put the 3D glasses over their normal glasses.

For my own part, I’m just very aware of the effect and to me it detracts from the story. Granted that seeing Captain Jack Sparrow in near hologram effect had a certain appeal, but I haven’t gone to the 3D version of a film since. I can get lost in a 2D film, but 3D is too closely related to extended cgi effects that detract rather than enhance a film. It failed years ago, for those of us old enough to remember the earlier 3D films in the 1980’s. Yes technology has moved on, but 3D still looks un-natural and I’ve refused to go to the cinema to see some films because I knew I would enjoy the 2D DVD more.

Ah I am so with you there. Third time round and still… a bit crap actually. When a film is vaunted for its fantastic special effects I wonder if it’s the critics’ way of telling us there’s eff all else to recommend it. Accordingly, I assume there will be no plot, 3D is just that same deal with a different gimmick. I absolutely get you. Come on readers, I know I’m supposed to be impartial but what the heck, please vote this one in. After which impassioned plea, what’s the next item you would like to see sink beneath the waves of chaos of Box 010, never to be seen again?

Mushrooms: Slimy fungus things that infiltrate pizza and other foods that would be perfectly good if they left that spongy texture out. Yeech!

I’m allergic to them and when I eat out, I find them in places they don’t belong, like fish pie. Controversial though, a lot of people love them. I like the ones I can eat, it’s just the ones that make me hurl I don’t- her hem. Sorry. Moving swiftly on, what’s your third item for Box 010?

Quorn: Following on from mushrooms, who decided that processed mushrooms would make a good meat substitute? If you want to be a vegetarian, be a real vegetarian. I found when I was feeding film crews that I could make some excellent vegetarian dishes by adapting recipes to use courgette instead of meat. My Courgette Bolognaise even satisfies the vegans. If you want to be health conscious, processed foods are your enemy.

Blimey, mushrooms AND Quorn? There are going to be some very nettled vegetarians out there Jaq. I see where you’re coming from. Although I think Quorn looks quite interesting, like proper raw yeast which has the weirdest most bizarre flavour.

Politicians: Well this one is a given isn’t it? Politicians are lying scum who live in ivory castles of their own imaginary worlds and insist that they could live on £53 a week if they had to. Show me. First cold you get that requires over the counter medicine blows your food budget. And luxuries like a new toothbrush become expenses you have to plan in advance to accommodate. Gods forbid the mop needs a new sponge head, that’s nearly a fiver right there.

Hmm, you are clearly a woman after my own heart. The third guest on Box 010 came within a snadge of getting them in… let’s see if you can succeed where he failed.

PPI – payment protection insurance: Back in the days when I had credit cards, I actually had to lie to salesmen on the phone to make them shut up about ppi. I worked for the county and could have up to 6 months off sick at full pay, that was my payment protection. I didn’t want their nasty insurance and I don’t like to lie. Now it’s all spam about collecting from mis-sold ppi because a lot of people weren’t smart enough to send them packing in the first place. Let’s just put insurance salesmen, lawyers and politicians in room 010 and leave it, shall we? We can feed them Quorn and make them watch movies in 3D until their brains can’t perceive real life anymore. No one will notice the difference.

Mmm, now there’s a mental image. Jaq D Hawkins, thank you so much for visiting us on Box 010 today.

Any time.

Right then everyone, if you’d like to vote there’s link to the poll further down the page. To find more about Jaq D Hawkins here are those links again.  For information about her books, you should visit her website, here and you can find them all for sale on her Amazon author page here. To discover more about her film work go here, and for general information about what she’s up to, here.

Join us next week for the results, and in two weeks’ time, when we will be finding out what really ticks off Will Macmillan Jones when he puts his five most loathed items into Box 010.

Vote here….

Hello and welcome to Box 010; a bit of light whimsy which is, in no way, inspired by the popular BBC programme Room 101. Here’s now it works. Every two weeks, my special guest will pop in and then present us with five things they would like to see consigned to the dustbin of existence. This week’s special guest is Jean Gill. She writes… well, pretty much anything but she has asked me to feature ‘Someone to Look Up To’ a story about a Pyrenean mountain dog, in search of his perfect human.

You can find Jean’s Amazon author page here or you can visit her blog here.

Hello Jean.

Hello.

I’ve just been reading up on Someone To Look Up To and and it sounds great, I love the tagline, ‘one day his human will come’. There is more about the book at the bottom of the page but before that, Jean is going to try and persuade us to vote all of her pet hates into Box 010. So, off we go, first of all, please can you tell us a bit about yourself?

Yes, I can. I’m a Welsh writer and photographer living in the south of France with a big white dog, a big black dog, a Nikon D700 and a man. For many years, I taught English in Wales and was the first woman to be a secondary headteacher in Carmarthenshire. I am mother or stepmother to five children.

Publications are varied, including prize-winning poetry and novels, military history, translated books on dog training, and a cookery book on goat cheese. With Scottish parents, an English birthplace and French residence, she can usually support the winning team on most sporting occasions.

As someone with similarly multicultural origins it is nice, isn’t it, to be able to not care which of the teams you’re watching loses in the six nations. So, let’s discover what items you’d like to see thrown into the rubbish compactor of existence. What is the first item you’d like to put in to Box 010?

Individually wrapped teabags: I live in France and respect for tea here means that it’s very difficult to find teabags that are not individually packaged in small, decorated paper envelopes. Why?! Let’s not waste time recycling package material that didn’t need to be used in the first place!

I’m with you, good choice. I just loathe anything which is that hard to unwrap with my morning brain on. Please tell us what you’d like to hurl into Box 010 next.

Ticks: I’m all for diversity of species, and I understand the danger of the butterfly effect, but we manage without dinosaurs, don’t we? I’d happily eliminate this species. If you’re a ‘Twilight’ fan and not revolted by the mere words ‘blood-sucking parasites’, just look up Lyme Disease and piroplasmosis, two of the diseases that ticks carry.

Ugh, no… I agree, I see no biological function for ticks, other than to kill people, rather nastily. Onwards and upwards, what’s the third item you would like to lob into Box 010, never to be seen again.

Babies’ dummies (pacifiers). They are a filthy, artificial way of shutting up babies, who would otherwise quickly learn to use a thumb or their fingers as comfort-sucks. Dummies cause work for the parent (cleaning and fetching, like a well-trained dog) and take away the baby’s independence, often well into childhood.

Hmm interesting. I bet that one will ruffle a few feathers. Mwa ha ha ha hargh. Righty-o, let’s hear about your fourth item is.

Dog-owners with no control over their off-lead dogs: This means 99% of dog-owners whose dogs are off-lead and who don’t attach them when they see potential hazards, especially other dogs on-lead.  Can you imagine trying to care for a dog recovering from a double ligament operation and when you’re carefully walking him, someone else’s bouncy labrador  jumps all over him and damages the leg again?

The ‘Yellow Dog project’ http://theyellowdogproject.com is an international initiative to protect people and dogs from each other. If a dog is wearing yellow, it needs space, perhaps after injury or during re-education. There is no reason why dogs on leads should have to put up with other dogs’ or people’s bad behaviour.

Some food for thought there, the Yellow Dog Project is such a simple and sensible idea and well worth looking up. Very interesting. Wow, so what is number five on your list of pet hates?

Cold calls and spam: I don’t want to answer the phone to hear a stranger trying to sell me something. Cold callers have tried to sweet-talk me, bully me and have even made the big mistake of asking to speak to my husband ‘the decision-maker’. This is all made even more difficult for me because I live in France, and although my French is OK there is a 30 second delay in my brain before I realise that this person calling me by name is a cold caller. I feel my home has been invaded.

This is going in. If I have to rig the votes and force people at gunpoint to- OK, I won’t rig the votes, but I very much hope it’ll go in. Jean Gill, thank you so much for joining me for Box 010.

My pleasure.

Right then everyone, if you’d like to vote there’s link to the poll further down the page. To find more about Jean’s books, click here for her LuLu shop front and, here for just about any format you like, from Smashwords. You can look at her photos as well, to find those click here. There’s also a bit more about ‘Someone to Look Up To‘ below that.

Join us next week for the results, and in two weeks’ time, when we will be finding out what really ticks off Jaq D Hawkins when she puts her five most loathed items into Box 010.

‘Someone to Look Up To‘
‘If you like dogs and good stories, this is a book for you.’ – Louise, goodreads review
It’s a dog’s life in the south of France. From puppyhood, Sirius the Pyrenean Mountain Dog has been trying to understand his humans and train them with kindness…

How this led to divorce he has no idea. More misunderstandings take Sirius to Death Row in an animal shelter, as a so-called dangerous dog learning survival tricks from the other inmates. During the twilight barking, he is shocked to hear his brother’s voice but the bitter-sweet reunion is short-lived. Doggedly, Sirius keeps the faith.

One day, his human will come.

Hello and welcome to Box 010; a bit of light whimsy which is, in no way, inspired by the popular BBC programme Room 101. Here’s now it works. Every two weeks, my special guest will pop in and then present us with five things they would like to see consigned to the dustbin of existence. This week’s special guest is A.F.E. Smith, speculative fiction writer and the brain behind the fabulous Barren Island Books, which, obviously, I shamelessly copied when setting up this feature.

You can find AFE Smith’s work on her website and blog here and for an example of Barren Island Books, here…. which is the one I did… not that I’m egocentric or anything.

Hello A. F. E. Smith, fellow lover of discreet initials, first of all, can you tell us a bit about yourself?

Yes I can. I’m an academic editor by day and a speculative fiction reader by night – or at least, I was before became a parent and discovered that spare time is a lie – yes nothing prepares you for that bit does it? Quite, I am still waiting for an opportunity to save the world by being really good at maths, but in the meantime I write fantasy novels about people with more mundane skills (you know, like swordfighting and stuff). My blog, and information about my works in progress, can be found at the not-at-all-egotistically-named www.afesmith.com. Feel free to ask me anything, except what A.F.E. stands for.

OK, A.F.E. Smith, thank you so much for joining us to sling as many of your pet hates as possible into the oblivion that is, Box 010. What’s your first item?

Meat-eaters who get all precious about certain animals.

As in the woman who tucks gleefully into a steak whilst declaring she could never eat a rabbit because they’re ‘too cute’, or the meat-and-two-veg guy who freaks out at the idea of eating roadkill. Ethically speaking, if you’re willing to eat chicken then you should be willing to eat flattened squirrels and tiny ickle bunnies as well (or at least allow that other people might). Otherwise, your moral stance pretty much boils down to ‘meat is great, as long as it comes prepackaged in anodyne slabs’.

Good one. I can’t fault your logic, in fact, I have eaten roadkill and ickle bunnies… although I might be wary of any roadkill I hadn’t actually seen get killed, on the grounds that it could be dangerously old. You mean freshly run-down though, right?

Yes I do.

Oh good, thanks for clearing that up. Right then, on we go.

What is the second item you’d like to put into Box 010?

Badly programmed language aids.

I realise that spellcheckers, autocorrect and the like are only tools, and that we all ought to have the intelligence to know when to ignore them. But surely a misleading/over-simplistic/just plain wrong language aid is worse than nothing at all? Every time an iDevice erroneously corrects ‘its’ to ‘it’s’, I cringe inside – no wonder people misuse apostrophes if their beloved gadgets are teaching them that ‘its’ is never valid. And don’t get me started on that stupid green squiggle in Word.

Or the American ‘english’ setting that you can’t switch off. Gits. Sorry, your choices are ringing a chord with me…

OK, A F E Smith, what is the third item you would like to put into Box 010?

Dog owners who don’t scoop their poop.

Good choice, one of my own personal pet hates this one… sorry do go on.

I hardly think this one needs arguing, but just in case: you chose to have a dog. It’s your responsibility to clean up after it. Anything else is disgusting, dangerous and socially wrong. It’s the worst kind of littering, and if you do it you’re essentially saying that avoiding a minor inconvenience is worth more to you than protecting children from potentially serious diseases and preventing loads of people from having their day (and shoes) ruined. If you wouldn’t leave it on your garden path then you shouldn’t leave it in a public street. *rant over*

Brilliant, I can’t agree more. Please everyone vote this in.

Alright then, what is the fourth item you would like to wipe from existence and wring out into Box 010?

The phrase ‘Calm down, dear’.

Please, lovely population of the world, never use these three words in this order again. NEVER. They carry with them so much that’s worth despising. Basically, anyone who directs this phrase at you is implying that you’re a hysterical little woman (because, let’s face it, no-one ever says it to a man) and that your emotion, however justifiable, deserves nothing more than a patronising pat on the head. It’s a throwaway response that simultaneously devalues you as a person and closes down any possibility of meaningful debate. Michael Winner has a lot to answer for.

Finally, what is your fifth choice to go into Box 010?

Genre snobs.

Snobs of any kind are pretty irritating. But being a fantasy lover and all, I particularly dislike those who are snobbish about genre novels. What annoys me most about this kind of snob is their tendency to extrapolate from a single work (Conan the Barbarian, say) to an entire genre. Saying that all fantasy fiction is badly written and formulaic is like saying all cats are ginger: it’s a statement that could only be made by a person who’s encountered a very small subset of the population in question.

Another excellent choice which, as a far fetched fiction writer, I can thoroughly identify with. A.F.E. Smith, thank you for joining me today.

Thank you for inviting me.

Right then everyone, if you’d like to vote there’s link to the poll further down the page. To find more about A.F.E.’s writing and/or read her blog, click here.

Join us next week for the results, and in two weeks’ time, when we will be finding out what really ticks off Jean Gill when she puts her five most loathed items into Box 010.