Category Archives: Author Updates

Reasons to be Cheerful

  1. The Sun came out today.
  2. There is no snow.
  3. I’m wearing the boots I love rather than the sensible shoes that don’t slip on ice.
  4. I am only wearing two jumpers.
  5. I am not wearing long johns.
  6. I am warm.
  7. I know what’s wrong with my book.
  8. I can fix it.

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Filed under Author Updates, General Wittering

Awards, rewards and stuff…

I don’t know where to start this morning. Two cool things happened in one day on Sunday. Eee – fans hand in front of face – I’m all teary just thinking about it. The thing is, they’re so different I don’t know how to marry them up into a coherent blog post. Never mind. When have I ever let that sort of thing stop me? Exactly. So here goes.

First up, The Wrong Stuff has won an award and trust me, nobody is more surprised than me. As you can see I’m proudly displaying my new badge from Indie Book Bargains in my widgety bit. Please do have a look at the site or click here, and scroll down… a bit more… a little bit further ….annnnd there!

Whahoo!

That’s all I can say.

OK that’s the authory gubbins done… now here’s another important thing. Remember this post yep, that’s right, the cheery one. A few days after writing that I found out that one of my friends from school had had a heart attack and was in hospital in a coma – because life is always absolutely brilliant, around Christmas, isn’t it? The prognosis was not rosy although his Mum was convinced that he was going to make it and I have to confess that once I saw him, so was I. He is the most bloody-minded, pig headed person I know. Apart from me. I haven’t seen him for ages but he’s one of those people where that doesn’t really matter. My parents and I consider him pretty much family so I nipped home last weekend to say hello.

He’d made it to high dependency by that time and although he’d had a crap day the day before he was able to focus, communicate with blinks and he also managed the ghost of a smile and an eye roll when I told him he was the only person I know who is pig-headed enough to get better. He also managed an eye roll when I asked him if he wanted me to carry on holding his hand, seeing as my hands were disgustingly sweaty and covered in that gloop they make you put on them at the door (he blinked me a ‘no’ unsurprisingly). I left him some snurd cards – not that I’m an egomaniac or anything but actually, he’s a massive petrol head so he might like then.

Anyway come Sunday and his sister posts his picture on Facebook. He is sitting up, holding his head up and looking very lugubrious but also very much himself. Whatever the brain damage is, and we don’t really know yet, his intellect and personality are clearly undamaged. I would post the photo but he’ll fucking kill me when he gets better.

The link to writing…? Not a huge one, just that my current work in progress is not going well. In fact, it’s like pushing a giant rock up a hill but at the same time, while my normal cure for this would be to write something else, I can’t seem to leave this one alone. I suppose, when you know what you want to achieve, the steps towards it can seem very small and the goal a long way away. Perhaps the secret of attaining a difficult goal is not to evaluate your progress too often, or at least, if you do to look at how far you’ve travelled rather than the distance you have to go.

Over the past few weeks, it’s been hard to write in quantity because I’ve been worrying about people. And that’s fine. But it has occurred to me there are a lot of them in my life, right now, with much heavier rocks and much steeper hills than me. OR to put it another way, think I should really stop fannying around, get my finger out of my arse, and just write the bloody book.

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Filed under About My Writing, Author Updates, General Wittering, winging author, Writing Conundrums

Happy New Year. Hung Over?

Why not blow away the cobwebs with one of Gladys and Ada’s famous cheese and pickle sandwiches? You know, the pickle that’s famed for its chilli heat.

No? Suit yourself. But if you are nursing a cup of black coffee with a couple of Alka Seltza in it this morning, if you have the shakes but, at the same time, are able to focus vaguely, here’s another brief snippet from One Man: No Plan, K’Barthan Trilogy, Part 3. Once again, it’s a work in progress, not yet professionally edited but here’s hoping you’ll enjoy it anyway.

One Man: No Plan, second sample.

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Filed under About My Writing, Author Updates, Free Stuff, General Wittering, Humorous Fantasy Author

Few Are Chosen by Awesome Indies but they chose Few Are Chosen!

Booyacka! Few Are Chosen has made it onto Awesome Indies. If you’re wondering why this is such a big deal, just go to their home page and check out the criteria. Mwah ha ha ha hargh!

Baasically, what this means is that to people with professional qualifications in creative writing, the quality of my book is pretty much indistinguishable from something put out by the big six. A cracking endorsement to have. I am very, very happy! Thank you Awesome Indies.

New Additions: young adult fantasy, humorous fantasy & a supernatural thriller.

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Filed under Author Updates, Blimey!, Encouragement, Marketing Ideas

Bla bla Bla BLURB too

Here’s your chance to vote! These are the two blurbs for The Wrong Stuff… Which do you like best? Blurb A, Blurb B or a combination of both. Oh and there’s a free e-book of The Wrong Stuff – in whatever format you like – or a set of snurd post cards for whoever my cat picks from those who comment… phew that was a complicated sentence but I’m sure you get the drift.

<strong>BLURB A</strong>

<em>The Pan of Hamgee is not your average knight in shining armour. Sure he has escaped from police custody and switched realities. Yes he has foiled Lord Vernon’s attempt to kidnap Ruth, the Chosen One; but – a small technicality – he’s completely wrecked her life.

Ruth is unimpressed. Being pursued by Lord Vernon is bad enough. Now, thanks to The Pan, she’s on the run. Unless she can find the Candidate, the person who chose her, and persuade him to pick someone else, her life is gone forever. But the Candidate is in hiding and no-one knows where.

Cast adrift in an alien reality and harried by Lord Vernon The Pan knows he must help Ruth to find the Candidate. Fast. Before Lord Vernon finds her. But it’s complicated. Ruth is the woman of The Pan’s dreams but according to the Prophecies it’s the Candidate who will be the man of her’s. Can he bring himself to unite them?</em>

<strong>BLURB B</strong>

<em>The Pan of Hamgee has escaped from police custody, switched realities and foiled Lord Vernon’s attempt to kidnap Ruth, the Chosen One. Not a bad day’s work, he thinks.

However, Ruth thinks otherwise. Being pursued by Lord Vernon is bad enough. Now, thanks to The Pan, she’s on the run. Unless she can find the Candidate, the person who chose her, and persuade him to pick someone else, her life is destroyed forever. But the Candidate is in hiding and no-one knows where.

Cast adrift in an alien reality and harried by Lord Vernon, The Pan knows he must help Ruth, the woman of his dreams, to find the Candidate, who is prophesied to be the man of hers. And he must do it fast. Before Lord Vernon finds her. But can he bring himself to unite them? </em>

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101 things you never knew about publishing, number 53

In Britain, books are normally launched on a Thursday. Hmm… you learn something new every day.

With the in-laws staying I’ve had to put my launch back so it’s no longer July, now but furnished with this new knowledge, the revised launch date is September 30th.

So there you go.

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Lorks!

Since yesterday evening, the download total for my second free e-short, Bog Man, on feedbooks has gone from 650 to 741… I dunno what’s going on but it’s brilliant! In the last hour 11 people have downloaded it… The other one’s still ticking along with 2 or 3 downloads a day, now, that’s what I consider to be a realistic expectation for both but this is… barking… in a very good and happy way!

The new e-short is in the pipeline and I hope to upload it in June… the actual book, Few Are Chosen is, I hope, going live in July… if I can manage it… so you all have something to read on holiday.

Smashwords have to do withholding tax now so I’m thinking I won’t sell my e-book, I’ll do the give it away free and hope some people will buy a paperback model… unless I can’t get a paperback printed cheaply enough to sell it to you all for £7.99 plus postage, in which case it’ll have to be a case of sod it, let them withhold it and do it anyway.

So… scores on the doors…

Is This Heaven? – 917 downloads since Christmas Day 09
Bog Man – 1,119 downloads since 12 March

Mmm…

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Filed under Author Updates, Blimey!, Encouragement, General Wittering, Other Creatives