Tag Archives: Box 010

Box 010: Number 2, Simon Royle

Hello and welcome to Box 010; a bit of light whimsy which is, in no way, inspired by the popular BBC programme Room 101. Here’s now it works. Every two weeks, my special guest will pop in and then present us with five things they would like to see consigned to the dustbin of existence. This week’s special guest is Simon Royle. His three futuristic technothrillers have been compared, in style, to Asimov and are, in order of release, ‘Tag’ followed by ‘Bangkok Burn’, the first book in the Bangkok series, and its brand-new sequel, just published in March 2013, ‘Bangkok Wet: 2 (Bangkok Series)’.

You can find Simon’s Amazon author page here or you can visit his website, which includes his blog and information about his books here.

Hello Simon, first of all, can you tell us a bit about yourself?

Yes I can. I was born in Manchester, England in 1963 and I have been, variously; a yachtsman, advertising executive, and a senior management executive in software companies. A futurist and a technologist, I live in Bangkok, with my wife and two children.

Wow that’s a pretty impressive CV. Well, I hope you’re ready to shove some pet hates into the nihilistic darkness that is Box 010. What is the first item you’d like to put in?

A mosquito buzzing around your ear just when you are about to go to sleep. They’re also the biggest killer globally so it’s more than annoying, it’s sinister.

Presumably something primitive in us knows, too, otherwise such a tiny, insignificant noise would never wake us up.

Yep, almost certainly.

Mmm (shudders). Ugh, right, moving swiftly on from mozzies which buzz backwards and forwards past your ear all night, what’s the second item you’d like put into Box 010?

Politicians – all of them, globally. They serve no purpose, cost a lot of money and apart from when they cause a scandal provide little or no entertainment value. They’re also the second biggest killers globally.

OK, I’ve actually made a rule that we have to avoid politics. Then again, what better way to do that than to put all the politicians into Box 010. Yep, so I’ll let that go, let’s just hope the lovely readers vote them in. What is your third thing?

Karaoke in all its forms. Every time someone sings a song to a karaoke video an angel dies in heaven. I remember – well, permanently scarred is the phrase that comes to mind – the first time I was subjected to the torture of Karaoke. I was in a pub in Hong Kong, the year was 1983. I was trying to persuade a woman called Gillian to come and take a look at my etchings. Romeo and Juliet, by Dire Straits, had just ended building the romance of the moment as were the tequila shots,  when, from somewhere hidden… “And now, de end is here, And so I face the final curtain, My fliend I say it crear…” the flowers on the table wilted as did any thoughts of romance. I was brutally reminded of every filling in my teeth and all I could think about was where to get my hands on a sawn-off double-barrelled twelve bore with double ought shot. So please, if you disagree with all my other choices, put this one goes into The Box and make me a happy chappy.

Mwah ha haahrgh! Yes. I can imagine that was fairly traumatic. So what’s the fourth thing you’d like to consign to Box 010?

Economy class travel on airoplanes. There’s a theory going around called Evolution, a theory that is clearly debunked by Economy Class air travel. What people in their right minds would pay to be put in a tin can, pressurized, flung through the air at 750 mph, fed shit and treated worse. Then if you complain be sent off to Guantanamo for the rest of your natural life.  How can we possibly claim to have evolved?

Simon, what’s the fifth and final item you’d like to put into Box 010?

Financial advisers. They advise you how to give them money, lose it, and then pay themselves a huge bonus.

Another excellent choice. Simon, thank you for joining me here for larks and a light rant.

It was a pleasure.

So there we are. Folks if you’d like to vote there’s a poll box at the bottom of the page. To find more about Simon’s books, click here and there’s a bit more about his latest book, ‘Bangkok Wet: 2 (Bangkok Series)’ below that.

Join us next week for the results, and in two weeks’ time, when we will be finding out what really ticks off fantasy author, Jim Webster, when he puts his five most loathed items into Box 010.

And now the voting… you, yes, you ladies and gentlemen can decide which of Simon’s items go into Box 010. You have until next Wednesday 17th April, to cast your vote using the poll below. Yep, it’s that easy.

Simon’s latest book, Bangkok Wet: 2 (Bangkok Series) is the sequel to the acclaimed, Bangkok Burn.

As Bangkok barricades itself against a rising flood of toxic waste, Chance has got some wet work of his own going on. He’d rather be on honeymoon with Pim; that had been the plan.

But the plan didn’t include the untimely death of a Godfather’s son, being blamed for the theft of a billion baht, and a move by a rival gang on Big Tiger’s territory; now there’s a new plan – war and retribution.

Funny thing about guns and plans – everyone’s got one.

Note from Admin, 29.5.13: Apologies for retrospectively disabling comments on this post but it’s getting buckets of spam. …I think it must be the word bangkok.

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Results. Box 010: Number 1, Michael Brookes

This week’s special guest was Michael Brookes author of The Cult of Me’ and its brand-new, just-published sequel, ‘Conversations in the Abyss’. You can find his Amazon author page here or visit his blog here.

Well everyone, the votes are finally in and I am delighted to report that two of Michael’s choices have been voted into Box 010. Yes, here they are:

  1. People who drive without lights in fog.
  2. Film remakes.

Michael, thank you for joining us, we will put your choices into Box 010, with great glee, I might add, and seal the lid closed with an industrial sized nail gun, oh, and a great deal of super glue.

Thank you for joining us. Next week Simon Royale will be joining us with some more items to put into Box 010.


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Box 010: Number 1, Michael Brookes

Hello and welcome to Box 010; a bit of light whimsy which is, in no way, inspired by the popular BBC programme Room 101. Here’s now it works. Every two weeks, my special guest will pop in and then present us with five things they would like to see consigned to the dustbin of existence. This week’s special guest is Michael Brookes author of The Cult of Me’ and its brand-new, just-published sequel, ‘Conversations in the Abyss’. You can find his Amazon author page here or visit his blog here.

Hello Michael, first of all, can you tell us a bit about yourself?
Yes I can. I’m an author and Executive Producer with a leading UK games developer. Working in games and writing are two of my life passions and I consider myself fortunate to be able to indulge them both. I live in the east of England, enjoying starry skies in the flattest part of the country. When not working or writing I can sometimes be found sleeping. Which is good as that is where many good ideas come from.

Ah yes, sleep. I remember that. Well, I hope you’re ready, shall we start? What is the first item you’d like to put into Box 010?
Onions.

Sure, I know, I know – what craziness is this?

Well, yes, it’s certainly lateral, would you like to tell us what offence the humble onion has caused that makes you want it expunged from existence?

I just can’t stand onions. It’s not the taste, the flavour is fine. In fact I use onion powder when I’m cooking. It’s the texture that I despise. I soon as I feel it in my mouth it makes me think of dead man’s toenails. It makes me cringe just thinking about it.

As for raw onions, that’s even worse. The sweaty crunch as you bite into it. And to top it all they make you cry. Reduction into powder is too good for them.

Dead man’s toenails. Mmm… nice. Phnark. So there it is everyone, if Michael comes round your house be careful what you feed him. OK Michael, what is the second thing you’d like to put into Box 010?

People who drive in the fog without lights on.

I’m driving along the road; visibility is practically zero with the freezing fog hugging the road. Suddenly a shape looms only metres ahead. It is the special kind of idiot who happily drives along in the fog with no lights. And 9 times out of 10 they’ll be driving a white or silver car. It was that fact that made me realise they do it deliberately. They pick their cars to blend in with the fog and then make sure they turn their lights off so they can ambush you in the dark.

And of course if you hit them in the ass it’s your fault.

Excellent point, I certainly hope that one gets voted in. Right, so what is the third thing you want to put into Box 010?

Waking up.

I love sleeping. It’s warm, it’s comforting and I have interesting dreams. Then the shrill shriek of the alarm slices through that joy. The transition between sleep and wakefulness is harsh. It is never welcome. I’m fine once I’m up and about. But opening my eyes and climbing out of bed is the hardest thing I have to do every day.

I don’t deny it’s not irrational, but I hate it. I hate it even more that I have to keep doing it over and over again.

There we are ladies and gentlemen, second important point, if Michael stays over round your house, don’t wake him up! So Michael, what’s the fourth thing you want to put into Box 010

Or rather, I hate being made to dance. I’m happy enough to watch people dance, especially if they know what they’re doing. But it’s always ruined by someone who thinks I have to be part of the fun. Invariably they won’t take no for an answer.

I don’t dance. I can’t dance. I don’t want to dance. But that apparently it’s me in the wrong for not wanting to look like an idiot having a fit. If you want to dance that’s all good, just leave me out of it.

I have a very worrying mental picture now Michael! Come on then, what’s the last thing you’d like to put into Box 010

Film remakes.

Why? There’s a perfectly good original, why make another? OK, occasionally something new is added, but usually it’s just a straight remake, so what is the  point? It’s not as if there is a shortage of stories for new films. It’s just laziness, or even worse hubris. I can make a better version of the film that is already a classic. Nonsense. Do something new, something different. Make your name with a film that is your own. Don’t make me watch an inferior version of a film I watched years ago.

Oh yes! Vote for this everyone, please.

Michael, thank you so much for kicking off Box 010, it’s been great having you.

Thank you for inviting me.

A pleasure,  you’ve given three answers that I am really hoping my lovely readers will vote into Box 010.

So folks if you’d like to vote there’s a poll box at the bottom of the page. To find more about Michael’s books, click here and there’s a bit more about his latest book, ‘Conversations in the Abyss’ below that.

Join us next week for the results, and in two weeks’ time, when we will be finding out what really ticks off Simon Royale when he puts his five most loathed items into Box 010.

And now the voting… you, yes, you ladies and gentlemen can decide which of Michael’s items go into Box 010. You have until next Wednesday 3rd April, to cast your vote using the poll below. Yep, it’s that easy.

Michael’s new book, ‘Conversations in the Abyss’ is the sequel to the 5 star rated supernatural thriller ‘The Cult of Me’

Stealing Lazarus’s miracle gifted him immortality. Combined with his natural ability of invading and controlling people’s minds this made him one of the most dangerous people on Earth.

But the miracle came with a price. His punishment was to be imprisoned within the walls of an ancient monastery and tormented by an invisible fire that burned his body perpetually. To escape the pain he retreated deep into his own mind.

There he discovers the truth of the universe and that only he can stop the coming Apocalypse.

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