Still Eating Snail and Tortoise Dust but Learning to Like the Taste

It has occurred to me that it’s time to post something before you all think I’ve shuffled off this mortal coil or something. The truth is, life is just busy. Duncan’s funeral, a week blitzed afterwards, half term and my in laws down for the week next week, along with the deadline for the parish magazine (yes, I’m the editor) means that for the last three weeks, internet presence has been sporadic at best and the next 10 days will be the same.

So yeh, I’ve done the last thing I could do for my friend, I’ve waved until he’s out of sight round the bend in the road and turned to face the future. The world is moving inexorably on and apart from the residual sadness, which will be with me for some time, I am looking ahead and life is good. That said, after a day spent queuing to get into the Natural History Museum, queuing to see the dinosaur section, queuing to go to the lavatory afterwards etc I’m a bit all in. So inspiration is thin on the ground. Which is why we’re heading for light fluff.

Obviously, the in laws coming, and Mum in law being a household goddess – her house is an immaculate, smoothly oiled machine and I am in serious awe – I have tried to tidy up. I employ bi-weekly cleaners but it being the bi week and us being out on the wrong days to un-bi, McMini and I spent a happy Wednesday this week doing the cobwebs, the beds, dusting, hoovering through etc. The result is a very presentable house. I also got the Dyson Dustbuster and had a go at the huge mountain of cat hair on the chaise long in our hall. When I came to empty it I found something a little bit weird. And amazing. Yes, it had made this perfectly spherical, cat hair and dust ball:


Yep, I know,pure cat felt.

I expect you can all see what’s coming next. Suffice it to say that since photographs were taken the next thing we knew everything had gone down hill and turned into… er hem… this.


And, of course, then it was only a matter of time before it turned into this…


Alright treacle? Wanna come out on the taaaan?

The worst bit is probably the fact that I’ve kept it. Mr D Bunny or is it Terence De Tumblepube is currently residing in a plant pot with some cape primroses. Because it seems like a little miracle of hoovery strangeness.

Meanwhile, the vague ideas for K’Barthan 5 are definitely crystallising into something and the Book With No Name, which I’m working on at present: the trying to write a comfortable, normal, genre specific, correct length novel – that’s coming on nicely too. Although it’s not quite … comfortable or normal, or even genre specific, even if it is correct length. Oh well, 2 out of 3 ain’t bad as Mr Meatloaf says.

I am also rejigging my mailing list expect something interesting soon – or at least ‘soon’ within the parameters with which I use the word so … before next year.

I leave you with one form McMini who joined ‘construction club’ at school (ie lego in lunchbreak).

Me – Was it good?
McMini – Oh yes! It was brilliant.
Me – what did you build?
McMini – a fish and chip shop, but it was closed.
Me – Closed? Why?
McMini – There weren’t enough lego men to go round so I didn’t have enough to make any customers, just the man behind the counter, so I decided all the customers had gone and he was closing up.

So there we are. I think that just about wraps it up for this week.


Filed under Author Updates, General Wittering

26 responses to “Still Eating Snail and Tortoise Dust but Learning to Like the Taste

  1. sparkyplants

    How funny! A perfectly round hair ball and his friend. The fact that you pulled out your supply of jiggly eyes is even funnier. Perhaps you need a vacation that doesn’t involve standing in interminable lines. A quiet sit on a beach somewhere, perhaps.

  2. That is one smart McMini.
    You’re not too shab with that ball of dust either….

  3. That little round dude sure has his dust together. πŸ˜€ I love your slice of real life posts! β™₯

  4. Feeling your pain on the tortoise pace. My writing ability has dropped off a cliff: and I think it’s because I’m trying to be a better writer. I’ve made myself so self-conscious I’ve come to a halt! So I’m doing a Children’s Writers Course instead, which is making a nice change (even if I’m chaffing at the lack of money-making work going on).
    Hurrah that there is to be a 5th in the trilogy. See, you are Douglas Adams! πŸ™‚

    • I wish. If it helps, my advice – pretty rubbish but there anyway – is to try not to over analyse. I can imagine you doing your best Ms Attention to Detail thing and dissecting it, πŸ˜‰ Good luck with the course. It sounds great fun.



      • Hehe funny you should say that. I considered (briefly) taking the Proofreader course and training to make money from other people writing novels, rather than writing them myself. I always thought I had a pretty good attention to detail. Then I did a couple of online tests and failed miserably! Haha.
        With my latest novel (that I’m stuck on) I’m not so much over-analysing it as trying to stick two novels together that don’t really belong together. I think it’s time I grew up and stopped being a Pantser, but the ideas just don’t come unless I’m drafting…

      • I wouldn’t have the balls to edit stuff! And re pantsing. My record is 70k in the wrong direction before the penny dropped. I had to bin all of it, so now I write a quick list of what I’m going to try and cover before I start. Phnark. It helps a bit. πŸ™‚



      • Wow! I really struggle canning stuff that is rubbish (just as I can’t pull down bad knitting). I end up trying to edit the life out of it instead, which rarely works!
        With regards to proofreading (I couldn’t do editing!) I know I’m good at spotting typos and punctuation, but I have to confess I’m not so hot on grammar (like when you should use When vs That and stuff of that ilk). I guess you learn it on the course, and goodness knows I need the income, but I admit it sounded a bit dull.

      • Yeh, I think I’d get quite bored – I suppose it depends what you end up having to edit. I know I would find some things really turgid no matter how well written they were. πŸ˜‰



  5. Always remember, mother-in-laws were us once πŸ™‚ Oh shoot – it’s the other way round – I AM a mother-in-law now AKA the wicked witch πŸ™‚

  6. Ha! Gosh, I remember when we lived in UK and the huge tidy up before family or friends arrive – now I just let it all go to pot and my mother can’t walk in the back door without falling over half a dozen pairs of wellies, well, four pairs …

  7. Jemima Pett

    Funny about you thinking we might think you’d disappeared. I thought I hadn’t heard from you for a bit just as I went round the Mildenhall roundabout on the way back from London. I pondered the question of whether I post too much, which turned into a musing on how to handle the plot in my next Princelings book… all the way to Wymondham, at which point a police car sped past so I paid more attention to the road. πŸ™‚

    Maybe I should spend more time with the contents of my compost bag. Well, anything to put off the cleaning!

  8. Kev

    Did you steal that off our floor? Looks like Aragorn’s fur (a bit of it) I’m getting used to the taste of that. lmao! πŸ˜€

  9. Kylie Betzner

    LOL, now I know what to do with the dead fur I brush off of Mr. Beefy.

  10. …LUV the birth of Mr Furball… there’s a whole series waiting there to be written, m’Lady πŸ™‚

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