Well hello, and after a bit of a hiatus, welcome, once again, to Box 010; a bit of light whimsy which is, in no way, inspired by the popular BBC programme Room 101. Here’s now it works. Every two weeks, except in the holidays when I turn into Mumzilla and everything goes a bit mental, my special guest will pop in and then present us with five things they would like to see consigned to the dustbin of existence. This week’s special guest is Angela Burkhead. She has just published Sticks n’ Stones and the Garden of Phea, a young adult fantasy novel.
Hello Angela and welcome to Box 010. Before we get started, would you like to tell us a bit about yourself?
Hi, yes I would. I’m a full time writer and a full time mom. Of the two jobs, I cannot decide which is more difficult and time consuming, but both bring the joys of fulfillment and accomplishment.
My son and I currently reside in Richmond, Ky, just north of Kentucky’s arts and crafts capital, Berea, Ky, where I was born and raised.
Ah a fellow author combining the rigours or writing and motherhood. Right then, let’s get onto your rant. What is the first thing that you would like to see expunged from existence for ever?
The first on my list I wish to ban from existence is Auto Correct. Let’s face it, we have all been victim to Auto Corrects evils in which the sentence: “I’m hanging out with Mary Anne” has become “I’m hanging out with Marijuana” causing a parent or two to inflict unnecessary punishment. D@$! you Auto Correct! It needs to be unmade.
Heavens yes, Auto Correct is the Devil’s tool. Good plan. So, onto your second item.
Commercial Duct Tape Products is on the top of my list.
Well, technically, it’s at number two.
I know, I’m sorry please carry on.
Don’t get me wrong, I love Red Green who is always welcome to invade my tv with his quirky duct tape repair ideas, but people actually pay a company for something made out of duct tape? There are so many duct tape patterns out there, go on Pinterest and make it yourself! At least that way when someone asks you why you have a duct tape wallet you can say, “Oh, because I’m poor and couldn’t afford a real one.” People may be so impressed they’ll tell you how special you are. Just remember to take it as a compliment….
Oh my giddy aunt! Do people do that? Is there a whole duct tape subculture thing going on, here, that has passed me by? Mwah ha hhahargh! How did I miss it, or am I going to be grinding my teeth in a year’s time, when it hits good old Blighty. Hmm. That’s a worrying thought! Wow… so what’s your item number 3?
The use of more than one exclamation mark to express excitement. Nothing can ever be that exciting. Plus, the people reading the overly-exaggerated exclamation tend to need to express the same, if not more, enthusiasm which leads to a small army of exclamation marks that, if they were truly an army, could probably take over a small town whose inhabitants would tweet about the invasion with more exclamation marks… At this rate, the Army of Exclamations could take over the world in less than a week. One exclamation mark is enough!
Yes, oh yes, oh yes. Phnark. Vote it in. Please… Er hem. Sorry what was I thinking of, I’m supposed to be impartial. Right then, please can you tell us what your fourth item is Angela?
Space Chimps. Not actual chimps in space, I mean the movie Space Chimps. I worked at a theater the year it came out. I’m pretty sure the children lost IQ points during the film and I still wish I could get back the 10 minutes of my life I spent watching the film during my work break.
Tell me about it. We have a kids programme on TV called Waybaloo and I swear I used to feel my brain turning to mush as I watched with my boy. Although, I confess I’ve never heard of Space Chimps – clearly I’ve lived a sheltered life. This has been an education. OK, then, what is your fifth and final item?
Best for last, Disney’s rights to Star Wars. Oh, George, what have you done? Lucas may be frighteningly awful at romantic scenes, and I think deep down he knows he should never have filmed movies 1-3, but handing the rights over to Disney does not make up for his mistakes. It actually made things worse. I will never be able to forgive the destruction of my beloved Star Wars and I have only one thing to say; Live Long and Prosper.
Yeh and the first thing they did was stop making Clone Troopers, which my boy loves and which is brilliant.
Right then, Angela Burkhead, thank you very much for joining me today. Now it’s time to vote. You can find more information about Angela’s latest release, Sticks n’ Stones and the Garden of Phea – along with details of where you can stalk her on the interweb below the poll. Join us in a couple of weeks when we find out how many of Angela’s pet hates you have voted into the oblivion forever.
Rather than spending one more day amongst the humiliating remarks to the amusement of her fellow peers, Emily Fickeltin runs away. Or, rather, walks away. Emily is misunderstood and disliked by what seems to be every other child her age and on top of it all, she is overweight.
Her attempt to escape her pain leads her to discover a hidden place with new hope for friends and acceptance, though she cannot stay long. In this magical garden, Emily meets Phea and finds that she is not the only one looking for an escape.
Together they battle their inner most demons. Will they ever discover peace and acceptance? These two lost and disheartened souls must find who they are before they are both lost forever.
You can stalk Angela Burkhead on the internet in the following places: