Cynical bollocks, and so’s the latest branding exercise from Abercrombie & Fitch

I enjoy reading Kristen Lamb’s blog and I have just been reading her very interesting post about this.

Oh deary me. I know they do remind us of their marketing strategy every now and again but I really thought the human race had got beyond this.

It’s great to see that one of America’s oldest established businesses is run by people of such depth. Clearly there is not enough crap in the bollocksphere already so numb-nuts there has had to spew out more.

Mwah ha hahargh! Calling all ‘cool, good looking people’. Lord in heaven, is he serious? How many teenagers do you know, even the ones that are, who believe they’re cool and good looking? Yeh… hmm… have you someone in mind? Mmm and what are they like? And when you were at school; did you know anyone who believed they were cool and good looking? Mmm and what were they like? Snortle. Can you remember? I bet you can. That’s right, in two out of three schools I went to, they were a bunch of total gits.

So that’s A&F, then, apparently; made for wankers by plonkers! Oh but only thin wankers under a certain height, because tall people often need larger sizes than a size 10, even a generous American size 10, because… shock horror, they’re bigger.

Apparently some people are hailing this marketing as genius. Just goes to show that the difference between ‘genius’ and ‘bollocks’ is often nothing more than perception.

Seriously though, is that smart marketing? Well… let me just put my brand manager’s hat on for a moment. There. Hmm, give me a moment to think about that.

I’ve thought about it.

No.

It’s not what they’re doing, loads of clothes companies aim at the teen market by keeping the sizes small, it’s just that there’s something really not right about that schpiel. Then again, I don’t fit the demographic. Since I’ve never had a figure like an ironing board, not even when I was a teenager, I’ve never troubled A&F with my custom, the trousers were alright but I’ve never fitted my boobs into a size 10 top… But hang on, do you remember size 16 supermodel Sophie Dahl? Was she not ‘beautiful’ enough for A&F?

Obviously not.

So there we are. Not only is it a wanky theory but it doesn’t even hold water.

Being ‘exclusionary’ is not alright. It’s being a cunt, if you’ll pardon my French.

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